No permitan que la educación nos distraiga de nuestros objetivos militares

La hoja de Albacete continuará publicando textos que manifiesten espíritu mancheguístico, es decir, todo discurso que muestre el frágil y fantasmal límite entre la pura payasada y el "liberalismo" neocon, anarcocapitalista, tardofranquista y/o teocrático.

Este nos lo envía Carlos, desde EEUU. Lo escribe Elliot Kazan, del Daily Show. Gracias Carlos.


Don't let the War Derail Our War Efforts

When your grandfather bored you with his war stories, he probably mentioned the G.I. Bill. Named for Col. William “G.I.” Bill, this 1944 law granted scholarships to veterans, making higher education a reality for thousands. “G.I.” stood for “gastrointestinal,” a reference to the Colonel’s digestion issues. Now a modern G.I. Bill is facing stiff opposition from Republican leaders. They fear that soldiers with scholarships will choose their own selfish brains over America and desert the military. And with enlistment rates dropping — probably because the war is so popular potential enlistees assume they won’t get in — there’s nobody to replace them with. The fact is, if America’s warriors can afford college, our army will disappear.

Besides that, it’s just not cost-effective. At the dollar’s current exchange rate on the International Violence Index, economists estimate it’d take 50 years of war to equal the market value of one semester of college. Matriculating our soldiers before 2053 would be like giving them a college education for free, implying that learning is worthless and shouldn’t be taken seriously. As a result they’d slack off and fail to make the most of their education. Better they don’t go at all, then that they waste the opportunity.

And don’t forget, much of today’s fighting isn’t done by humans, but robots — airborne drones, mine detectors, Johnny 5. If we send human soldiers to school, robots will want to go too. And once they’re in college, it won’t be long before robots want to legally marry. Same-sex couples are hard enough for America to swallow.

Besides, our soldiers are learning more now than they ever could in some stuffy classroom. They’re studying at the country’s most prestigious military academy: the military. Rather than wasting time with useless junk like literature, they’re in a unique course of personal growth-oriented study, like a Montessori school with explosions. That’s better than college and, at $1 billion a day, way more expensive. If anything, it’s time our soldiers stopped taking advantage of America’s generosity, became adults, and started paying their own G.I. bill. It’s a lot of money, but that’s what work-study jobs are for. And the confidence that comes from making your own way without anyone’s help is priceless. It’s a feeling they’ll carry with them wherever we decide to send them next.